January 2011
Like a splinter
I don’t think about when we were kids, growing up together anymore.
…but somehow, for just a split second you slip back into my mind. You fall back into place, and all the memories come up and fall in step with my every move. And it opens up again, and it hurts. It hurts like fucking hell. Without a single thing I can do about it.
And I just want to make you face me, and tell you...
11:29
When things start splitting at the seams and now
I told my brother...
…that he needed to stop rolling spliffs on my bed and leaving his stuff everywhere because it has been a long weekend and I really just needed my own space right now.
His response:
“I know. I understand. But sometimes brothers need your space. Sometimes, brothers need all the space.”
Ugh. So true. Love him though.
Do you all know?
All of my friends…
…all of my old friends, my friends who have known me for years and years, and all of my new friends who have known me for a year or some months or less than that…do you all know how much I love you? How much I respect you in my life. How much I cherish that you like me, that you love me, find me funny, care about me, and put up with me.
It’s a lot....
Yes. Still at my lab...
…still processing these blood samples because the person sending them to me couldn’t get her shit together to figure out that maybe a cab service wasn’t the best way to send them.
…waiting for my half hour centrifuge spin to finish so I can run through the rest of the protocol and get THE. HELL. OUT. OF. HERE.
Friday. Gin. Food. Friends. That’s all I want…
“So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is...”
– John Keating, Dead Poet’s Society (via missfefe)
“I no longer need you to fuck me as hard as I hate myself.
Make love to me
like...”
– Buddy Wakefield (via handgrenade2)
Keeping the crazy at bay
Would love to be able to sleep now. My schedule has gotten so fucked up. Why am I wide awake now? No reason. Just am. Ugh. Tired. Want to be not awake. Want to stop thinking.
Really excited for the shower I’m about to take. Hoping it makes me sleepy.
Getting close to that edge I know well, scared of the drop. But fighting it off better, backing away from it quicker.
Feeling stronger. But...
Watchwithoutasunrise:
brodo-faggins:
mujerfatal:
femmeefatale:
LOL “Natalie your a badass bitch”
all the kids looking up to me can suck my dick
LEAVE YOU SCREAMING
PAY FOR MY DRY CLEANING
LOL
My head sucks.
back and forth
up and down
good and bad
build me up and break me down
fucking choose an emotion already, brain.
Just went through 128 pages to catch up on...
…seriously? Goddamn people I only went to bed a few hours ago.
Thank god for snow delays…
…not that I wouldn’t be tumbling in the lab anyways. #woops
I have that sinking feeling again...
…that is it always just going to be me, by myself. Alone.
Feeling a little forgotten
Don't really want to go back outside, because this...
…but I must…
#fuckingseriouslynewengland
Furthermore...
My hands won’t stop shaking today. It’s making pipetting incredibly difficult.
My dreams of being a surgeon are ruined.
Jkids
#idontwanttobeasurgeon
Science jokes...IRL
We bought a new Beta fish for the lab…
And we named him Positive Results…
Because at least now we can say we have positive results in the lab.
HAH.
#scienceihateyou
howmanylieswillyoucreate:
Teenage Dream: A Boy’s...
“you felt no reality, no knife of sorrow cut your intestines to bits. only a weariness, a longing for a shoulder to sleep on, and a pair of arms to curl up in.”
— Sylvia Plath. (via bornloser-)
Almost 1am. Still awake...
…and I’m tired, but I’m not, you know?
Excited for my tattoo in a couple weeks. That’s for real.
Mind is racing. Make it stop. This is unhelpful.